Here It Goes Again

Matt left earlier this afternoon for Sacramento; tomorrow morning starts week two at the CHP academy. This weekend I packed a bag and stayed at his parents place. It was a little weird and pretty awkward at times, but totally worth being able to spend that long with my guy. Granted, we didn't have much time to relax - he brought enough work back with him to keep us busy for longer than we had. Somehow we managed to get it all done and send him on his way in a timely fashion.

That was probably the hardest thing of all - not the paper writing or the military creases or the guideline study, but saying goodbye. Last Monday morning was worse. We parted ways at a Starbucks down the street from the Academy where a bunch of other cadets were gathered. I thought I'd make it out alright, but as Matt opened my car door I burst into tears. As he stood there in his suit and tie I thought of all the hardships he'll be facing over the next six months. I think that was when it really hit me - six months without him around. It's gotten easier since seeing him this weekend. Now that I know he's surviving alright and having a decent experience I can relax a little and focus on what I need to do for myself in order to get by. I still haven't found a second job, but I've kept decently busy.

As I've mentioned to some, I really appreciate the support I've already gotten and crave more. Although my first instinct is to crawl into my shell at a time like this, I need friends by my side to help me through. I'm so excited about the opportunities this is going to provide, but terrified at the same time. Thinking about the strain my baby is under at the Academy is hard enough; I don't even want to think about the dangers he'll be facing everyday when on the road.

"Patience is waiting. Not passively waiting. That is laziness. But to keep going when the going is hard and slow - that is patience."
-Unknown